Thank goodness for the Hulk!
by mo person
Summary: Clint loved being pregnant. But when he goes into labor in a bank that the Hulk had just bashed in, after some idiot robber tried to hold Tony as hostage, well... Let's just say that the Hulk has more 'talents' than he lets on... He's a midwife... OMEGAVERSE OMEGA CLINT AND TONY ALPHA PHIL AND BRUCE. Scienceboyfriends and shieldboyfriends. Mpreg and slash. Crack.


**Thank goodness for Hulk!**

Clint loved being pregnant. Sure, his back hurt and his ankles swelled and he couldn't have sex comfortably beyond seven months, but he really did love it. But he hated going into public. They all just stared at him like he was some sort of freak! It wasn't like male omegas were anything odd. In fact, they made up an eighth of the entire population! And seeing as though there were eight genders, that was a big number!

So when he and his mate would go out to eat, or buy things for their twins, Clint almost always found himself shrinking back behind Phil, hiding. He couldn't face the crowd. They all whispered, 'Hey, that's Hawkeye! I thought he was an Alpha!' 'Man, I'm straight, but even I would tap that!' 'Dude! he's pregnant, you can't just tap another man's mate!'

Clint hated being talked about like that. He didn't like how much it affected him either. Before getting pregnant, he could handle any gossip. There was even one rumor that he was cheating on Phil with Director Fury and whoever came up with that one remains a secret.

So when Tony and Bruce tagged along, intending to shop for their child, and Tony absolutely thrived in the extra attention, Clint burst into tears. Phil was frantic, as his mate had never actually cried without Damn Good Reason! With capital letters! Phil ran his hands all over Clint, so worried that Clint was hurt or "Oh God! The babies are coming, aren't they!?"

Until Clint began to laugh uncontrollably.

Phil was certainly confused.

As was Bruce.

And Tony didn't even notice, he was chatting with some random pregnant lady, swapping pregnancy horror stories.

"I can't decide if I should cry or laugh at you!" Clint giggled. "I hate this crowd, they're like vultures! But you're just so... Sweet!"

Clint launched himself into Phil's arms, still laughing with tears clinging to his blonde eye lashes.

"I don't get it..." Bruce said, scratching his head.

"Brucie! We absolutely need to go to the food court before my stomach eats itself." Tony announced loudly, pulling his mate along by the elbow.

Clint decided to agree with Tony and pulled Phil along as well.

[the big day]

"Shit!" Clint whimpered.

It was just his luck that some maniac robber decided to try to rob the bank that Phil, Clint, Tony and Bruce were inside. The amateur robber pulled out a knife and Tony immediately began to hyperventilate,(the ONE day he didn't bring his emergency gauntlets!) Bruce's skin took on a distinctly Green tinge, and Phil whipped out his gun, aiming for the robbers head.

But the robber was fast. He managed to grab Tony, recognizing Iron Man, and hold the knife to his neck. Tony was crying by then, as was Clint. Tony was desperately trying to protect his baby from the man, but being an omega, a pregnant omega, made his upper body strength less than useful.

And as many stories go, Bruce lost control. Tony cried profusely, Phil grabbed Clint and pulled him far, far away and the Hulk laid waste to the bank, knocking away the integral support beam that held the entrance and exits open.

The robber had long since tried to escape, Tony crawled to sit by Clint and Phil, still trying to stop hyperventilating. Then Clint's worst nightmare was fully realized. He felt a slight squeeze, and a pop, and his babies began to kick. Then it felt like he wet himself.

Phil, as his Alpha picked up the scent of his fluids immediately, cursing.

He was trapped inside of a structurally unstable building, with a stronger man who didn't know how to properly use a knife, with the Hulk unleashed, and he was in labor.

"Well, at least it can't get any worse!" Clint sobbed.

The Hulk had grabbed the robber, giving him a flick in the head, knocking the man out. He then turned his eyes towards Tony.

"Mate, safe?" He grunted.

"Yea, big guy." Tony began. "But Clint needs to get to a hospital."

"Birdie hurting?" Clint was sure that he imagined the whiney tone in Hulk's voice. "Birdie have baby now?"

"Yes, Hulk. But you broke the exits, so now we're stuck!" Clint yelled.

"Hulk deliver."

"Hulk deliver what, in name of god?" Clint almost didn't want to know.

"Hulk deliver babies. Pants off, legs open."

Tony began to hyperventilate again. As did Phil.

"No, I think I'll take my chances!" Clint laughed nervously.

"Pants off!" Hulk hissed.

"Fine!" Clint yelled. Truthfully, his pants were wet and uncomfortable.

"legs open!" Hulk grunted.

"Hulk, I don't think you're qualified to-"

"Legs Open!" Hulk hissed.

Clint let his legs fall wide. He was breathing deeply, as his pregnancy yoga teacher had taught him. He looked up at the Hulk, unsure if he should be laughing at the look of intense focus on his big, green face.

Tony laughed for him.

It felt like hours before Phil and the Hulk told Clint to push. He could hear the authorities trying to get through the rubble and free the people, but the only sound that he could focus on was his Alpha's voice and hulk's demands. It was painful, but just as the rescue team managed to secure the exit, Clint's last baby was born. Phil's undershirt was stained with blood beneath him, and Phil's sweater was used to clean and wrap his first baby. Clint hastily gave Tony his own sweater to wrap his second baby.

They were both crying loudly, for which Clint was extremely relived.

Then he passed out.

When he came to, he was inside of a hospital room, the white walls and bright lights frying his eyes, and Phil was at his side in an instant.

"How are you feeling? Light headed? Do you need to pee?"

"Phil, I'm fine. All I really need is to see my babies." Clint croaked.

"Oh, yes. Here's baby number one." Phil carefully picked up a blue bundle, Clint stretched out his arms. He immediately scented him. Alpha.

"and here's baby number two." Phil handed Clint another baby wrapped in green, allowing Clint to scent him as well. Omega.

"Oh Clint, do you want to meet baby number three?" Phil smiled, plucking a pink bundle out of the large bassinet.

"A girl? There were three?!" Clint's eyes widened.

"She was hiding behind our little Alpha porker. He was huge, so she was dwarfed." Phil took baby 1 and placed baby 3 in his spot. Clint scented her, Alpha. "The doctor's found her crowning in the ambulance."

"Of course, with Natasha as her auntie, she'd be an Alpha!" Clint smiled. His blue eyes lit up.

"Yes. Just like her auntie."

"We have to thank Hulk." Clint was still smiling. "He did help me through it."

"No need. He already got pictures with them." Phil whipped out his phone, showing Clint the many,many pictures of Hulk and the babies, his huge body almost swallowing them. "I've never seen him so happy."

"Wow. These babies sure do have a crazy family." Clint giggled.

"Yes they do. But at least we have Hulk."

"Yes. Thank goodness for Hulk!

The end ~

**...I don't know how I came up with that... THE HULK WAS THE MIDWIFE! I don't even... I can't... ****I fucking wrote it and I... No... Just... No...**

**Hey, who wants to ****name the babies!? I'm going to write a sequel but I need nice names! (first, and middle.)**

**-Mo**


End file.
